I am sitting in my living room at 9:40pm folding laundry when I get a text. It is from a recent client of mine sharing a picture of her growing baby girl and my heart swells. I immediately think back to standing with her in her kitchen, when her face gets a look of surprise as her water breaks. The drive to the hospital, and her overjoyous smile and happiness as her daughter was born.
I turn my head to look at the announcements, birthday invitations, and holiday cards I have received over the years*... It triggers a flood of memories from all of my families... seeing a woman embrace and sway with her husband through labor, remembering the look of pure pride on your husband's face once a contraction ended. I remember moaning with you to match tones, swaying with you, & wiping your hair from your face. Convincing you that you can do anything for one minute at a time. Shaking your hips to help your pelvis realign the baby's head. The mother who slowly breathed her baby out as her doctor sat back and watched. I think back on the baby surprisingly born at home, the baby born without a doctor in the room but a very shocked nurse, and the babies born into their father's hands. I remember crying with you when you achieved the VBAC you dreamed about. I remember soothing you when your baby needed to receive medical care in the NICU and reassuring you that you and your babies were in great hands. I remember your husband crying quietly so you wouldn't worry about him and the loud sobs that released once your baby was born.
I remember the hip squeezes, the joy and the fear. The highs and the lows. The planning, the questions, the changes in plans, and more questions. I remember sitting in your living room and talking about your pregnancy, your dreams, and working through your fears. I remember seeing your confidence grow. Being there for you is what fuels me. I am not in it for birth, I am in it for the mothers. I'd rather meet you where you are at, in that exact moment of time.
I remember when I get the message "Looks like we're going to need you again!" and the sheer happiness I have for your growing family. A feeling of humbled thanks and honor overwhelmes me as I think about being with you again for another sacred journey.
I might not always remember exact ounces and minutes, but I remember you, your partners, and your babies. You will always be apart of my life, my heart, my passion, and my memories. I will always be here if you need anything, whether it is 6 weeks, 6 months, or 6 years down the road. I am thankful for you and I always feel blessed that our paths crossed. I am blessed that our moment in time is sealed forever in both of our memories.
*If you would like to add your baby's or family picture to my wall, you can email one to TheGrossePointeDoula@gmail.com and I would be honored to have it added.